4 mins

Why can’t I cry anymore?

Have you ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed but, oddly, unable to cry? It’s more common than many people realise, and can sometimes point to something deeper.

As humans, we are emotional beings. Emotions are woven into every corner of our existence. When we are unable to express them – especially through natural outlets like crying – it can be both confusing and isolating. 

Yet, it’s important to remember, you’re not alone in having this experience.

The inability to cry can be rooted back to various different things. Each person’s emotional response is shaped by their unique experiences, belief systems and coping mechanisms.

To understand why this may be happening, it’s important to unravel where it may have stemmed from for you.

Sometimes the inability to cry can be a symptom of depression, referred to as “anhedonia”.

Anhedonia isn’t about an absence of emotions, but rather a disconnect from them.

Imagine it’s a beautiful morning, the sun’s shining, the birds are singing and there’s a gentle, refreshing breeze in the air. Normally, this scene would bring a smile to your face, filling you with a sense of joy and peace. But instead, you find yourself feeling nothing. The warmth of the sun, the melody of the birds, and the comfort of the breeze – none of it seems to touch you emotionally.

This is what anhedonia feels like.

It’s like being in a world of colour but only seeing things in shades of grey. Activities that once brought you joy, now pass by without stirring any emotional response. It’s not that you don’t see the beauty or joy in them – it’s just that you can’t connect with the emotions.

You might find yourself asking, “Why can’t I feel anything? Why can’t I cry anymore”.

But it’s important to remember that this emotional disconnect isn’t a life sentence. It’s a temporary state, and with the right support, you’ll be able to experience the world in all its emotional richness.

Why does anhenodia happen?

Crying is more than just a physical response – it’s our body’s way of expressing deep emotions. Anhedonia is often a result of the brain’s natural defence mechanism which, for some people, happens in response to chronic stress, anxiety, traumatic events or significant life changes. Our brain can sometimes reduce our ability to feel to protect us from experiencing psychological pain. 

Imagine carrying a heavy backpack for a long time – eventually, your shoulders and back will start to ache, and you’ll need to sit down and rest. Similarly, when the mind becomes overwhelmed with emotional weight, anhedonia can set in as a way to lighten the load for a bit.

Biologically, it’s associated with changes in brain chemistry and function, particularly involving neurotransmitters like dopamine, which plays a key role in feeling pleasure and satisfaction. In a sense, it’s a temporary malfunction in the brain’s reward circuit, making the joys – and sorrows – of life less accessible.

Remember, if you’re facing anhedonia, it’s not your fault, and it doesn’t mean the vibrant emotional life you once knew is gone forever. It’s a pause, rather than a full stop. You’re not on this journey alone, and with the right support, the world can transform back into full, radiant colour.

Moving forward – how to connect with your emotional world

The journey towards healing can look different for everyone. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but some of the following steps can help:

Start therapy – think of therapy as a safe space where you can unravel difficult thoughts and feelings without judgement. Therapy can help you explore and address suppressed emotions, and over time, as the emotional weight begins to lift, the feelings that were muted will start to emerge.

Lifestyle changes – the body and mind are interconnected which means nourishing one helps to nourish the other. A healthy diet, regular exercise and long, restful sleep can help bring your mind and body back into balance.

Connection – having a solid support system is really important. Reach out to friends and family, join support groups or take up a new hobby or sport with like-minded people. Surround yourself with people who not only listen but also truly hear you, validating your experiences and emotions.

The journey to overcome emotional numbness – and depression – can take time. But with the right support and treatment, every step forward will become a bit easier.

Gradually, you’ll build up a toolbox of healthier coping mechanisms so that you can feel – and experience – the full spectrum of emotions without ever needing to retreat into numbness.

Dr Elena Touroni

Dr Elena Touroni

9 October 2023

"Dr. Elena Touroni is a skilled and experienced Consultant Psychologist with a track record of delivering high-quality services for individuals with all common emotional difficulties and those with a diagnosis of personality disorder. She is experienced in service design and delivery, the management of multi-disciplinary teams, organisational consultancy, and development and delivery of both national and bespoke training to providers in the statutory and non-statutory sector."

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Athena Lazaridou

Athena is a Pilates instructor with 8 years’ experience in the field. After completing a Power Pilates Mat Certification in Athens, she went on to complete the Full Comprehensive Classical Pilates Certification with Equinox in Kensington.  She has been teaching Pilates at Equinox for the past 6 years in addition to her own private clients who she trains both face to face and virtually.

Athena has a passion for helping people get stronger and fitter as well as helping those recovering from injury regain their strength and mobility.  Over the years, she has worked with athletes to incorporate Pilates into their training and improve performance. Athena has also worked with prenatal and postnatal women who may be experiencing depression or other mental health difficulties and used Pilates to facilitate a positive impact on their mental health.

Athena is very passionate about improving physical and mental well-being and has recently incorporated Sound Healing into her work, as she believes it to be one of the best ways of ‘letting go’ and releasing stale energy whilst increasing greater self-awareness.